Mistakes Easily Made
by mimiam
Summary: Sam comes to work after a long and wild night at the pub. She is knackered and not very amused when Tom insists on checking her over. She is even less impressed when he tells her to go home to rest but finally obeys, hoping that some of her memory of last night will come back. Unfortunately it does. A forbidden kiss, a broken promise and a lost ring will tell of what happened then.
1. No Lies, Memory

It was a long night. A tiring night. I got up that morning, exhausted, my head buzzing with an incessant headache and the stress of having to go to work. I went to the bathroom and turned on the light. I looked in the mirror. I was a mess: my make-up smeared, my eye bruised, with dark rings encircling both from the night before.

What had happened last night? I had gone to the pub, had a few Gin and Tonics and the only thing I remembered was singing karaoke to the barkeeper…Then I had woken up here. Thank god I hadn't been reckless enough to wake up next to a stranger, let alone in a stranger's house. I picked up a towel and wet it under the tap to remove the excess make-up that had run down my cheeks. Had I…cried? To me it looked like it, but I didn't want to assume. After all I couldn't even remember half of last night. Stupid Gin Tonics…

I decided to give my abused skin a break and did not put on any make-up, hoping that people would take no notice and if they did, that they would keep their mouth shut. Maybe Zoe knew what had happened the night before. She had been there for a couple of hours and we had bought each other a few drinks, both of us insisting in turn, that the next round was "on me".

I put on a hoodie to hide my bruised complexion and some sweat pants so I would go unnoticed at least until I got into the staff room. I made myself some coffee and took two paracetamol to combat the drumming headache that was driving me mad. I took no breakfast, I was too tired to eat and I felt I was going to be sick if I did, so I packed a smoothie and walked to my car. When I got in I felt a little unsure. Could I drive in this condition? I didn't want to find out this way and got back out of the car. Instead I walked five minutes to the nearest bus stop.

I waited about 4 minutes, until the next bus came and scrambled on it, sitting somewhere in the back and waiting for it to leave the stop. Eventually it did and I got out a book to read. It took about 12 minutes for me to get to Holby City ED and when I finally got there, I sighed in relief. Zoe waited for me at the back entrance.

"Are you ok?" she asked as I walked past her. The cigarette in her hand was making me cough.

"Never been better…" I muttered and strode towards the staff room, my hoodie pulled up around my face.

I changed into my scrubs quickly and picked my ever so faithful yellow stethoscope from my locker and hung it ceremoniously around my neck. Dylan came in, halted and stared. He struggled to find words but eventually spoke:

"Err…Sam, are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" I snapped and he nodded mutely.

"So nothing has changed…" he muttred under his breath.

"What?" I demanded.

"Nothing." And with that he left.

I didn't know if he had said "Nothing" to emphasize his statement or to keep me from knowing it but I had to say I agreed with him: we were still that awkward couple that never knew what to say or do around each other. We were still Us.

I left the staff room to go to cubicles and found a young girl that said she had hurt her arm. I lifted the fabric of her t-shirt off her arm ever so slightly, trying not to hurt her, and found a deep gash wound, maybe a couple of days old with puss and dirt in it. I couldn't think clearly, so I asked the nurse what she would do and she looked around unsurely.

"I'd clean up the wound, put a bandage on it and then give her something against the infection…antibiotics?" she said and looked at me, searching my face for a clue if she had done good or bad.

"Yes, yes. Let's do that." I said absentmindedly.

"Should I get another doctor to consult?" she asked and I nodded clutching my head.

She left and I smiled encouragingly at the girl.

"So how did it happen?" I asked and she bit her lip.

"I fell off a tree…" she mumbled and I laughed.

"A little monkey, were you?" I chuckled and she smiled, not making eye contact.

"Ok, I'm going to be right back-"

"Right, what have we here?" Dr Tom Kent, pediatric emergency specialist swung the curtains aside and looked first at the girl, then at me. I was standing on the right, so he did not see my bruise but I feared he would, soon enough. I smiled at him fakely and he either didn't seem to notice, or he kept it for after the exam. He looked at her charts.

"What's your name?" Tom said as he looked at the gash more closely.

"Lily."

"Lily, a biblical name?" he smiled to himself.

"Yeah.", she smiled uneasily.

"Well, Lily, it looks like you cut yourself on a sharp object? Did you fall?"

"She fell from a tree…" I answered for her and he looked up to confirm.

Tom examined her arm and carefully cleaned up the dirt and the puss. He talked to the little girl and told her about his youth

"I used to be quite the climber. Always on the highest branch I could get to." He smiled at her and asked the nurse to dress the wound.

"Right, I'm going to be around here if you need me. If you need anything else, ask one of the nurses, yes?"

"Mmmhmm."

He smiled at her and then looked up at me. I smiled back, only to realize that my bruise was in full view and turned away from him. But I could see the concern in his eyes out of the corner of mine. He straightened himself and led me outside where he confronted me.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Sam, you have a bruise. That's not nothing."

"I said it's **nothing**."

"Sam." His tone was warning. "Let me have a look."

"No, I'm fine." I attempted to walk away but he caught my arm.

"Sam." He waited for me to give in but when I didn't, he dragged me to a cubicle and drew the curtains for privacy.

"Tom, you really don't have to-", he put a finger to my lips and looked at my face, carefully putting pressure on my bruise. I winced and he stopped and looked into my eyes.

"**Not** nothing.", he said and I tried not to lose my temper. Why did he always have to be so overprotective?

He flashed a light across my pupils.

"Were you…drunk last night?" he asked unbelieving.

"Yes, anything wrong?" I snapped.

"No, I just didn't see you as that kind of person."

"What kind of person?"

"Your pupils are dilated."

"What kind of person?" I persisted.

"As a party person." He gave in.

" I had a good time!" I was severely hurt at his statement.

"And I'm not judging you."

"I hope for your sake that you're not…" I muttered and he crouched down so his eyes were on my level.

"Sam. I love you. But you can't just go around getting drunk and being reckless. See, it's not just the alcohol that is dangerous…" he touched my bruise and I pulled away from his touch.

"Sam." He said and I looked towards the ground.

"Look at me." And I looked into his deep green eyes.

"I'm sorry." I said and eventually he smiled.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." He kissed the top of my head and helped me up.

"Right, now I'm going to get back to work."

"No, go home. I'll take it up with Tess and I can take your shift."

"Honestly, Tom, I'm fine!"

"The nurse told me that she had to call in a consult because you were unsure…" he looked to the ground guiltily and then back at me.

"Take a break and get some rest, sleep off the hangover." He looked deep into my eyes.

"No, I really shouldn't-"

"Really Sam? You're worried about what you should do? You **should** go home." He persisted and I pondered his suggestion for a second.

"Go. I'll cover your shift." He said and opened the curtain to reveal the society of Holby City Hospital ED at work. He pushed me out of the cubicle, towards the staff room.

I walked in and got out my sweats and quickly changed into them. I sat down for a minute and got out some cereal, deciding I needed some food now. I got my smoothie and drank a sip at a time to prevent nausea. I then poured some milk over my cereal, and started eating, the taste of morning enfolding in my mouth, making me sigh.

"I've haven't seen anyone so happy about eating cereal for a long time." came a voice. It was Fletch, he stood in the doorway, smirking at me and I grinned.

"Are you ok? That bruise…well it's none of my business but-"

"I'm good." I smiled. "Better now that I can eat cereal without hurling."

"Hangover?"

"Yeah, not the best one I have had over the years."

"Hahaha yeah, been there." He smiled encouragingly. "Well good on ye that you're taking the day off. You look like you need it. I know I did when I had one of my worst hangovers."

"Hey! It isn't that bad! I'm really not that much of a drinker! And Tom offered to cover for me." I laughed and he nodded, smiling knowingly.

"Alright, I'm off. If you need anything, you have my number. Otherwise, be well." He grinned and left.

I sat for a moment, enjoying the quiet and then got up and zipped up my hoodie over my old t-shirt and exhaled a shaky breath. I wasn't sure if I should stay and work somewhere off Tom's grid or if I really should go home.


	2. Panic! At the ER

I decided to take Tom's advice in order to avoid any further problems with him that might have the indecency to pop up.

I walked home. The way was about 5 miles and I thought what harm can come off a bit of fresh air. I took a short cut by the river and listened to the water trickling down the little veins on the river banks. After having sucked up some of its tranquility, I made my way upstream in order to get to my flat.

When I finally got there, I closed the door behind me and slid down to its foot. I rested there for a moment, deeply hoping, that Tom wouldn't come over and check on me during his lunch break. I had about 30 minutes until I would hear a knock on the door.

I suddenly remembered something, a fragment of last night. I had…No. It couldn't be! I had kissed Fletch?! I shuddered. What had I done! He was married and had children. What had I been thinking? A wave of panic hit me and I jolted forward to the cabinet where we kept our pharmaceuticals. I rummaged in it until I found some drugs that would counteract the adrenaline. In a scared frenzy I blindly took a handful, not looking at the label and let the tranquility of the chemicals lull me into the darkness of my dreams.

I awoke in hospital, Tom's shadow looming over me like a hawk, circling over its prey. Tom saw me stirring and looked at me.  
"Sam?" he asked carefully

"Yes?" I croaked.

"Ok she's conscious." He sighed relieved. "Sam. We know you took some of these pills...We need to know how many you took?" he thrust the bottle of drugs into my face.

I didn't answer.

"Sam!"

I uttered not a word.

"Sam this is important!" he gave me a warning look.

I turned from him. He wouldn't understand. I had betrayed him, and Fletch's wife.

"Right, do you want to do it the hard way then? We can't treat you until you tell us…so I will wait you out." He sat down on the side of the bed.

After a few hours had come and gone, Fletch popped in to see where Tom was and I turned, feeling terrible.

"Ah Tom, I need you for a second." He looked at me worriedly. "What happened to Sam?"

"She fell over, no matter." Tom brushed away his question and took the clipboard from Fletch's hand.

"Zoe has asked me to get you. We have a peds case in resus." He hesitated and his eyes flickered over to me.

Tom gave him a hard look and said

"She's fine Fletch. I'll come over in a few. Let me just finish up here." He dismissed Fletch and turned back to me.

Fletch left, closing the mint-green curtain behind him.

"Right, Sam. I need to go. Anything you would like to tell me?" he looked square into my eyes.

I looked to the ground and exhaled. Tom sighed and was about to leave when I muttered

"About 5."

He turned abruptly and came back to my bedside.

"What was that?"

"I said I took about 5. I didn't look at the label; I was worried about other things."

"Sam! You are only allowed to take one at a time. You can't even take more than 3 a day, let alone 5 at a time!" he ran a hand through his hair and it stuck out awkwardly. "How could you be so reckless?" he muttered under his breath. He sighed.

"Sam..." he hesitated "Did you try to take your own life?" he paused to see my reaction.

"No! Of course not!" I made sure that my tone could not be mistaken for sarcasm. "I had a panic attack, I took the pills." I explained.

He looked at me for a long minute and then broke the silence.

"So i can trust you?"

"Yes! Of course you can, Tom." I said. He nodded and was about to leave but not before telling me what he was going to do.

"I'll put Dylan on the peds case. We'll talk about the panic attack later in more detail." I opened my mouth to protest but he opened the curtain and saw Linda passing.

"Linda! I need you to find out the soonest we can pump Sam's stomach, quick as you can please." He said with urgency in his voice.

"Of course, Tom." She smiled at him encouragingly as her scouse accent embroidered her words and I wondered if they were secretly having an affair. I suddenly hoped they were; that would make my actions almost alright. But not for Fletch…

I couldn't take my mind off what I had done. I still couldn't believe that I could be so reckless.

**Tom's POV**

I came back to find Sam's bed empty. I glanced around. She had probably just gone to the bathroom hadn't she? She was unpredictable though. She might be anywhere. She could be somewhere in danger. Alone. Deluded. Poisoned.


	3. Ghosts and Regrets

I sat in my flat. The floor was cold and my hands slid over it, touching the dents and the cracks in the tiles where I had smashed it. It lay next to me, shattered, broken, as damaged as my mind was right now. As ruined as my soul. I had always easily made mistakes, my mother had always told me that they were "Mistakes easily made" but I never believed her. Not after what my sister had told me.

Katy.

It hurt to say her name now. After the car crash 8 years ago, everything had changed. My life, my home and my mother. I almost felt her presence here now.

"Katy?" I said foolishly and immediately scolded myself for doing it. Of course she wasn't here. She would never be back.

My mother had long suffered under the chains of dread and sorrow after my father died in a motorcycle accident when I was 5. She was never the same again. But when my sister died…she was distraught. Depressed and unable to look after herself, she had deemed herself unworthy to live and tried to take her own life. I had found her, unconscious in her house, all alone and decided to put her into a psychiatric facility just for 3 months so she would get over the depression. Nevertheless she still had a fragile mind. Even now, 8 years later.

*PANG*

There it was again. A new memory that had found its way back to me.

I had promised my mother that I would go see her last night. I knew for a fact now, that I hadn't, I had been too busy ruining myself and my conscience. A pain shot through my head and my mother materialized in front of me. She was sitting at the dinner table, crying, probably thinking I had abandoned her. I walked toward her and crouched down in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Mother." I rubbed her back and embraced her tightly. I couldn't go through this again.

"Darling…where were you? You left me. You-you promised…" She sobbed and I looked at the ground, shame washing over me like a cold rain shower, stinging like pins and needles in my back and in my side. I tried to repress the feelings but they came over me like a storm. I scrunched up my eyes, willing myself not to cry but I couldn't. Hot tears ran down my cheeks and halted on my chin and nose, clinging onto my skin until gravity claimed them.

I couldn't move. I tried opening my mouth but it wouldn't. I suddenly felt the urge to make her feel better so strongly that my guilt turned into a knife, cutting through me when I couldn't think of anything to do. I wanted to tell her what I had done, what I wanted to do, I wanted her to comfort me as she once had, to reason with me about what to do but I couldn't speak.

I started shivering violently and the shivering turned into an uncontrollable shaking.

Mother! I thought but in that instant I knew she was not real. She was not here. I was alone. Far from anyone I had ever loved. And I was having a seizure…

"SAM!" I heard a muffled shout and a key scraping in the lock. I wanted to turn, to look but I couldn't. I didn't need to. I knew it was Tom.

The door opened and in an instant Tom was by my side. He called for Dixie and Jeff and I felt a sting in my arm. After a while, I could feel myself slowly stopping to spasm and calm down. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was Tom.


	4. A Different Kind of Love

I awoke, in hospital again. Tom was by my side once more and the strong feeling of déjà vu overcame me.

"Tom?" I said hoarsely and he looked up.

His hair stuck out in tufts and single strands and he looked tired.

"Sam. You're awake." He smiled at me and I smiled weakly.

"What happened?" he asked me and my smile faded. The question I just didn't want to answer.

"I saw my mother-I…" I paused because I didn't know what to say.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Those worried pools of green inquired.

"No. I'm fine, just tired." I sighed and brushed some of my hair out of my face. "I need to speak with Fletch."

"Sam, you had a seizure…" Tom looked at me and shook his head, his shaggy hair bobbing a little despite the fact that they were plastered up with sweat and fear.

"Tom." I warned and attempted to get up but Tom placed a hand upon my chest, pushing me back down.

"Leave it! Rest, Sam, it can't be that important." he said, sighing with irritation.

"Tom…!" I growled and grabbed his wrist, taking it in an iron grip until his face twisted in pain.

When he grimaced, I got up, thrust his hand to the side and swished the curtain aside, making my way out of the cubicle but Tom caught my arm.

"Sam, what are you thinking?!" he said and I swung my arm over my head so that I could lose him but his grip tightened.

"I'm thinking…" I approached him and glared at him. "…It might be better for you to let go." And before he realised what I had said, I grabbed his arm, trying to twist it back so that he would let go rather than endure the pain that would come with the resistance, but he was too fast for me, wrapping his forearm around my neck.

I was trapped.

"Now let's get back to bed, shall we?" he turned, taking me with him and walked me towards the bed.

"Oh I don't think so." I said and lifted my foot, gaining some strength for the hit and stomped down on his foot with all my might, making him yelp in pain.

"Sam!" he groaned in the agony I had caused him.

"Thanks for attempting...but you still lost." I said, dusting myself off, and walked towards the reception. It would be a few minutes until he regained composure. I had until then to find a safe spot where I could talk to Fletch in private.

I walked to the vending machine, trying to hide around a corner, Tom would not immediately check. I got a candy bar and saw Tom rush past, limping, but storming into resus. When he had gone by, I walked up to reception and waved the candy bar in front of Noel's face to get his attention. His eyes were caught by the movement and he looked first at the moving object and then at the person who was holding it.

"Ah gotcha." I smiled mischievously. "Do you want this?" I gave him no time to answer and turned away, studying the waiting area but still waving the candy bar in front of his nose.

"You're gonna have to tell me where Fletch is. And promise me you won't utter a word to Tom about my whereabouts." I turned back to him.

"Promise?" I asked and he nodded eagerly. "Where is he?"

"In cubicles, I think cubicle 4 if I'm not mistaken." he lunged for the candy bar.

"Thank you." I said and threw the candy bar towards him at an impossible angle. He was unable to catch it and it dropped to the gound, breaking into 2 parts in the process.

"Aww Sam...It's broken now..." he whined and I smiled as I walked towards cubicles.

"Sorry Noel, maybe if you spent more time making paper balls from old paper and disposing of it, not having it lying around everywhere, you'd know how to catch and throw." I chuckled to myself and made my way around the corner. But another person blocked my way.

Dylan was there.

I stopped and looked at him, trying to assess his mood. He looked up from the chart he was looking at and caught my gaze.

"Sam, what happened-" he started to approach me but I put up a hand, symbolising that I wanted some distance between us.

"Just leave me, Dylan, please. I've had a bad day as it is, I don't need your "help"." I muttered and he nodded. There was an awkward silence for a second.

"Alright then, carry on." he motioned for me to carry on walking and I did.

When I got to cubicle 4, I took a deep breath, composing myself, thinking of what I should do, say and suggest. I decided on telling Fletch the truth. The full truth, my feelings and my wishes about what happens in future and how we were going to tell our loved ones. Then I swung the curtains aside...


	5. Same Sam(e)

**Toms POV**

I sighed with frustration. Why did my relationship with Sam have to be so complicated? I spent half the time trying to work out what was going through her head, but at least that was a far more appealing yet equally nerve-wracking alternative to expert Sudoku.

I stormed past reception and into resus in order to locate Fletch and hopefully to find Sam. I felt my blood boil. It bubbled and shot through my arteries into my brain, making me think clearly. Of course she wouldn't be with Fletch, she wasn't stupid. She could just be so tenacious sometimes. Her defiance and her stubborn nature had once seemed cute and challenging, now it only irritated and angered me. I couldn't focus on anything else when I was around her and my hot temper would show whenever she teased or criticised me. But when I had found her in her flat, fitting, the smashed mirror next to her, with "TRAITOR!" written on it in pale pink lipstick. the lipstick that had stained my lips on Halloween and ever since. It had startled me and filled me with dismay. That lipstick, that stain of love was now scraped onto the reflective surface, spelling out treachery. Who had Sam betrayed and more importantly, had she been the one to scribble it onto the mirror? I had the strong feeling that she had been delusional when it happened. In that instant all my anger subsided, vanishing as abruptly as the sun would, hiding behind the clouds of grey that hung over Britain's skies. She was vulnerable. Possibly scared and most of all, she was not well. She was hallucinating due to the overdose of the drugs. We had pumped her stomach when she was out but too much had already been absorbed into her bloodstream, wreaking havoc in her brain. And I was running up the wall because she was a little difficult to handle sometimes? I rebuked myself. It killed a part inside of me that I could be so selfish.

I walked into resus, slowing my aggressive stride and tried to look around. She was not there. Of course. But then again, neither was Fletch. I turned on the spot and walked up to reception, where Noel was just opening a chocolate bar that had been broken into two pieces. It was Sam's favourite; Cadbury's caramel…I looked back at Noel and asked

"Noel, you haven't seen Sam or Fletch by any chance?" I smiled weakly.

"No, mate, I haven't." he said awkwardly, pretending to have better things to do. "Why?" he inquired.

"I just-never mind, Noel, I'll find her myself." I sighed.

I walked past reception and into cubicles and was confronted with Dylan. I rolled my eyes but I knew he was my best chance at finding her.

"Dylan, do you know where Sam is? It's important." I said and he looked at me, his eyebrows raised.

"Yes, she went past here." He pointed out the direction she had gone and I thanked him.

"Err Tom?" I turned. "Mind telling me what this is all about? She was quite shaken up when she walked past."

"She's delusional. She ingested an overdose of drugs." I explained. Even though he didn't have an official right to know, I felt he should listen to this.

He shook his head disbelievingly and I sighed, resuming walking towards the cubicle he had pointed out. Clenching and unclenching my jaw, I felt my blood boil once more. Of course he'd act like that. Why would he act any different?

Cubicle 4.

I opened the curtain, carefully in case she wasn't here. But she was. And the sight was not pretty.

In the bed was Sam's mother who I vaguely recognised from some photographs in Sam's flat. Next to her was Sam, sunken down, on the floor, crying and Fletch by her side, comforting her. He looked up and saw and straightened himself.

"Your knight in shining armor." He smiled and distanced himself. Sam looked up, catching my gaze.

"Sam. What happened?!" I said worriedly crouching down and touching her cheek.

"She did it again! She-she tied to take her own-" Sam sobbed and I took her into my arms, muttering some soothing words.

"Shhh Sam. I'm here now. Everything is going to be alright." I whispered, cradling her in my arms. "She's safe and you're here. She won't do it again." I glanced at her mother who was asleep.

Sam's sobbing slowly subsided and I suggested taking her back to her bed in order to give her some rest and a good few hours to sleep as all this stress wasn't helping the reaction she had to the drugs.

She agreed and I carried her back. By the time we got to her cubicle, she had already fallen asleep.


	6. False Beliefs

**Sorry that it took so long for me to update. I have had very little time lately; schoolwork and such. But here you go :)**

* * *

Sam's POV

I awoke after a long night of tossing and turning. I had fallen in and out of sleep, the aftereffect of the drugs plaguing me and acting as caffeine, urging me to be a friend of the night until they finally gave in and let me slumber for about 4 hours. But the moment I did awake, I felt a surge of joy; the drugs were out of my system. I was sober. Free. I opened my eyes and looked around.

It was early, I looked at my watch…5:43. There were hardly any nurses around, never mind doctors. But there was one right next to me. Asleep and twitching, it was Tom. He was obviously going through a REM sleep episode so I refrained from waking him. I got up quietly, my stomach growling as I did and I feared for a second that it had given away my actions or rather, my intended actions. But when I heard Tom shifting in his sleep and saw his confused expression, I knew he was still fast asleep, pestering the characters of his dream with his questioning look and unbelievable queries.

I walked out into the corridor, wanting to go outside to get some fresh air. But I was confronted by Zoe. She smelled of smoke and expensive, overpowering perfume and the combination made me cough and retch.

"Are you alright, Sam?" she asked in concern and felt my forehead.

"Absolutely fine." I fibbed and walked towards the Emergency entrance.

"Let me check you over!" she called, trying to increase her pace to keep up with me but her new pair of high heels was hindering her. She took them off and then sprinted to catch up with me, shoes in one hand.

"Really, Zoe, there's no need." I smiled weakly.

"Alright, then let's talk." She persisted.

"Yes…there's something you should know." I said hesitantly.

"…Well?" Zoe had already lit another cigarette and held it between her middle and ring finger, waving it around as she spoke:

"What is it?" she exhaled some smoke and looked at me insistently.

"I kissed Fletcher." I said in a monotone voice so that I wouldn't attract any attention I didn't need.

"You did what?" Zoe chuckled.

"I kissed him."

"You kissed Fletch? Careful there, that territory has already been claimed. And don't you have your own little property?" She smiled, obviously feeling good about herself for using such an 'original metaphor'.

"I do." I sighed, "It happened at the pub on Friday. It was an accident, a mistake. It shouldn't have happened."

"On Friday?" She laughed. "And I thought you had gone off with Tom and had yourself a _spectacular_ night." She winked and grinned cheekily.

"Well we didn't, as you can see. And I thought Tom was still there. Why would you think he went off with me?"

"Two reasons: first, he is your _boyfriend_. Second, he left around the same time you did; after the karaoke singing ended. Your chanson to the barkeeper was extraordinary, one must add." Once again she chuckled.

"Thanks, Zoe…but where did he go?" I thought out loud.

"No clue. All I know is that he was chatting up a young thing at the bar before he did. A redhead. Very fit. Maybe around 17? 18?"

"Yeah, Zoe, not helping." I said and she shut up.

I thought for a second. Had he betrayed me? If he had, maybe then I could escape my guilt and we could start again. Maybe. Just maybe…

I forgot about my initial intention to get something to eat and hurried inside to confront Tom. I needed to know. Now. This was IT. He had been watching and flirting with other girls but I had never expected him to cheat. I hoped I was wrong. I scolded myself for thinking so but remembered that I had no right to judge him now. Not if I didn't want to be known as a hypocrite. So I repressed my feelings of betrayal and disbelief and approached my cubicle, dreading what was to come of my actions, dreading both outcomes…


	7. Its All Different Now

Toms POV

I awoke when Big Mac addressed me.

"Good morning, soldier. I see you've held the fort for the night." His sarcasm was undeniable.

"What?" I looked up expecting to see Sam. Of course she wasn't there.

"Oh Christ…" I ran my hand through my hair.

"Oh I'm sure she's around here somewhere." He smiled.

I nodded and got up. I stretched for long minute, having slept in a chair all night and feeling a little groggy.

"You look terrible…listen, how about I keep an eye out for her and you can go have a nice hot shower in the staff showers. Does that sound appealing?"

I considered this for a moment. I hadn't showered in days and I didn't know whether I would get another opportunity after all I wanted to take Sam home to hers and her shower wasn't working. Reluctantly, I nodded.

"Right then, I'll leave you to it, soldier."

I left the cubicle and fetched a new pair of scrubs, as my old clothes were too dirty, and went to the men's showers, passing a few staff rooms in which you could sleep if you had a night shift and a few hours to spare. The showers were all vacant, everyone either working or enjoying their day off. I stripped and hopped into the shower, turning it on and setting it to the hottest setting. I checked the temperature and when I felt comfortable with it, leant forward, exposing most of my body to the stream of water. I rested my head against the cold tiles and just thought. About Sam, about our relationship. The hot water rushed down my body and into my face. I spluttered out some water and spit and grabbed a bottle of shampoo. I squirted some into my palm and massaged it into my hair. Slowly but surely my scalp relaxed and I sighed, letting it work on my hair. After about a minute or two I rinsed and was onto the next section of the shower; I took some soap, even though I normally used body wash, and started foaming it so I could wash properly. Suddenly the door opened and I made a little jump, not expecting anyone here in these terminal stages of my shower. I felt the blood rushing to my face when I realized I hadn't locked my shower cubicle. I quickly turned off the shower forgetting about the soap still on my body and lunged for the door handle, leaning on it with while fumbling with the lock. The door swung open and almost slammed me in the face. At me looked Sam, a towel held out to me and an intense look in her eyes. I took the towel from her hands and wrapped it around my waist, not even drying myself off. Something was up.

"We need to talk." She said. What did that even mean? What did we have to talk about?

I nodded and pursed my lips, clenching and unclenching my jaw. I hated it when people told me to do something and neglected to tell me why. I followed her out and stood, trying to understand her body language. She was facing away from me. What did that mean?

"Sam, what is it?"

"Did you cheat on me?" I was taken aback by the question. I hadn't expected this. I answered slowly.

"You want the truth?"

"Yes. The full truth."

"No. I've never cheated on you. I admit to flirting with and watching other women but I have never been in bed with anyone other than you." I said and she sighed. Was it a sigh of relief or a sigh of disappointment. Maybe a bit of both?

"I'm-I…I cheated on you, Tom, well not really. I kissed someone, Tom. I'm sorry...So sorry." She confessed and started to sob.

I didn't expect that. I stared at her, confused and irritated. I didn't even think she was capable of doing that. The shock surged through my body and I felt anger build up inside me….


	8. The Power of Love

Sam's POV 

I couldn't quite read his expression. It was guarded by the blank look that I had grown to hate. But I could feel the stifling heat that was escaping his body. The anger inside of him that was the reason I did not want to tell him.

Like a stereotypical Hollywood film character I added

"It meant **nothing**! I swear! I was drunk and confused and-" I ran my hand through my hair.

"Right." His jaw was in the defensive clenched position once again. I wondered why he didn't have an aching jaw after all the tension he put on it. He looked away

"Please Tom. Please forgive me, I couldn't…I was so terrified when I remembered…It-it was the real cause of the panic attack." I stumbled over my own words. His eyes searched mine.

"I still can't believe it though…I always thought if someone was going to be faithful, it was going to be you, I-" He shook his head.

"Well, where were you, Mister Judgemental? Chatting up some hot redhead at the bar? Buying her a few drinks and regretting the fact that you're with someone older?" I turned from him and felt him move closer. He placed his hands on my bare arms.

"I could never regret being with you…" His head moved down to my level and he turned my head to look at him. For a moment he stared into my eyes. His moss green eyes were intoxicating, inspiring and illuminating. I leaned in for a kiss, begging inwardly that he would go along with it. After a long second of leaning, his lips met mine and his hands moved from my arms to cupping my face. He undid my hair tie and dug his hands into it, cradling my head. I carefully pulled back and gasped

"I'm sorry, I really am, Tom. It won't happen again." He grinned at me, his thumb caressing my cheek.

"I forgive you." He kissed me once more before telling me to get ready to go home. I nodded and left so that he could finish showering and so he could dress.

Time to find Fletch…

In that moment Aoife came around the corner, greeting me

"Well hello there, how's my little baby doing?" I stood for a moment, completely bewildered.

"Your 'baby'?" I knew that Aoife did not have children and was not pregnant, at least I thought I knew. But even if, why would she ask me?

"Yeah my 'baby', my ring?" she looked at me expectantly and I blinked confusedly.

"My engagement ring. Friday was my bachelor party and you offered to keep it safe until yesterday but since you weren't in the best of health yesterday, I left it. Do you have it?"

"Wait…your ring? Your engagement ring?" Aoife nodded patronisingly as if it was obvious.

"Yeah, do you have it?"

"Uhhh no, it must be at home. Sorry, I'll bring it in tomorrow." I almost wanted to slap myself in the face. Of course she was going to see right through me. But no, she accepted it as an answer.

"You better, I can't wait to wear it on my finger again!" she squealed and excused herself.

Tom then came up behind me and touched my shoulder, making me jump.

"God, Tom! Please…" I held my hands up and walked out of the emergency entrance with Tom following close behind.

"Sam…?" I could almost see the worried look in his eyes as well as I could hear the concern in his voice, even though I wasn't facing him.

"I'm fine, let's just go home."

He did not respond and I assumed he was deep in thought once again.

And so I resumed thinking too…Where was Aoife's ring and when had I lost it? Would I be able to find it in time? Did I even have it?

*BANG*

And it was yet another memory, a snippet of the night that had landed at MBA, the Airport of MyBrain. And yet again, I regretted hoping I woudl regain the memory of that cursed night.

I fell powerless into the arms of my unanswered questions.

Tom's POV

I had not seen her this agitated since the day on which she came in with a man and his son, both of them having been hurt in a rock-climbing activity. I could almost feel her exhaustion and knew she needed to rest after the stressful events of the day. I felt sorry for her, I knew she had gone through a lot in the past two decades, what with her father and sister dead and her mother suicidal. I knew she needed help to get through the hard phases in her life. And I was willing to help, willing to sacrifice and willing to fight for her. But that was when I saw her collapse a few feet in front of me…


	9. Ruse and Recovery

Sam's POV

_Blurriness_

_White._

_No, grey._

_Soft._

A hoodie...My hoodie.

It was draped across my chair, the first thing I saw when I woke up. In my apartment?

I heard a clatter and flinched instinctively. Tom. Was it Tom in the kitchen?

"Tom?" His head appeared, looking around the kitchen door.

"Hey!...How is your head?"

"Throbbing a little but otherwise...fine." I smiled at him.

"Good," He grinned back "Breakfast?"

"Always." I got up and he hurried over, steadying me.

"Slowly." He looked up into my eyes when he helped me up.

"Come on, tell me what you think." He entered the kitchen and I followed him reluctantly.

The powerful smell of food overcame me and I sighed. I hadn't eaten yesterday and my stomach had already complained about the large amount of space it had.

"A frittata." Tom gestured towards one pan.

"Bangers and mash." He pointed at another pan and a pot

"And..." his hands drummed the granite kitchen counter "Eggs!" He said triumphantly.

"I didn't know you could cook!" I looked at him unbelievingly.

"Neither did I." He chuckled and scooped me up in his arms.

I squealed and he carried me to a chair, sitting me down and ordering me to "stay".

He then brought out the pans one by one, removing the pan and pot lid each time as if it were a silver platter cover. I laughed and he seemed glad that I felt better.

"What would her Highness like to dine on?"

"All of it, young squire. Now would you care to join me?" I gestured towards the seat opposite me and after he had put a little of everything on my plate, he took a seat.

But in that instant the events of last night came back to me and I remembered that I needed to find Aoife's ring.

"Oh no..." my fork clattered onto the plate.

"Sam, what is it? Is your head alright?" Tom was out of his seat and came to my side.

"No, it's-" I wrung my hands "It's Aoife's ring." He looked at me, a confused look on his face.

"She's engaged and I was supposed to look after her ring. I-I have no idea where it could be..." my voice cracked. My heart rate quickened and so did my breathing. I tried to get up but Tom sat me back down.

"Breathe."

"That's. Easier. Said. Than. Done." I panted.

He told me to put my head between my legs and just breathe.

A few minutes passed and slowly, but surely my breathing slowed as my heart rate decreased to a calmer pace. I straightened myself slowly and looked up at him.

"Let's search the house then." He said and smiled encouragingly.

"It's about time we got to spring cleaning here anyway." I glared at that and he winked at me mischievously.

We had searched the whole house, from the kitchen table to the farthest, darkest, spider-ridden corner in the apartment and we had found nothing.

Neither of us wanted to admit it but it was clear we wouldn't find it. The apartment, however, was already a mess by that time; items of clothing were thrown everywhere and there were hundreds of book stalagmites growing out of the parquet floor, taken out of the book shelves and off the coffee table.

"Well..." Tom broke the silence "We only have one other option..."

He said, deadly seriously.

"Tell her?" I asked carefully but he shook his head, still looking at me.

"We have to buy another ring."...


	10. Try, Try Again

Sam's POV

After long consideration, we decided that we had no other choice but to buy another ring. I asked Robin to accompany us while we searched for the ring as she had seen it and knew what it looked like. We looked in eight jewellery shops and finally found it. Unfortunately it cost £6800. Tom and I had to put together all the money we had to spend but we were still missing around £1000. Tom decided to take a credit from the local bank in Holby in order for us to afford it. As soon as we had all the money together, we made our way back to the jewellery shop and asked to buy the ring. When we showed a specific interest in the wedding rings, the shopkeeper asked us when our wedding was. I laughed and answered

"Oh no-"

"April 3rd." Tom intervened and winked at me.

"It's alright, we can tell him." He chuckled. I nodded reluctantly.

"Ok." I said.

After "considering" the other rings, we chose Aoife's ring's twin. The shopkeeper brought it out and held it into the light. It was a ring with a round brilliant cut diamond and princess cut white diamonds on the border. It accommodated a 2.00 carat round cut center stone which sparkled in the artificial light of the lamp and threw rainbows against the wall. I stared at it in awe. Tom took the ring from the shopkeeper and lifted up my hand. At first I instinctively pulled away but then let him take it. He slid the ring onto my finger and looked deeply into my eyes. I was no longer aware what was acting and what was reality but whatever it was, it felt real. Another look into his green eyes and a shiver ran down my spine. I could feel the cold metal on my finger, it fit me perfectly. It felt like it belonged. Tom's lips curved into a smile and his gaze left me.

"We'll take it." he declared and carefully removed the ring from my finger. I cleared my throat and said I was going to wait outside.

It took another few minutes until he came out with the little bag containing that little box.

He took my hand and we hailed a cab, which stopped after the third hail. We got in and I sat down, sinking into the fake leather seat.

"Thank God that's done." I sighed.

"Yes." Tom agreed.

He was his usual self again. He looked at me, smiled and then turned his back again, looking out of the window. It was starting to rain. As per usual, it wasn't just a light shower, it was pouring down and I realised that I should have put on watertight shoes. But at least we had the ring.

The cab brought us to Holby hospital, we were just in time for the night shift; 6 PM. Tom had insisted that he'd do the shift with me until we got off at 4 AM. We got out of the cab and ran towards the entrance, our coat collars turned up. By the tine we were inside, we were soaked. We changed into warm, dry, clean scrubs and hung the wet clothes on the radiator in the staff room. It would take hours to dry but we had hours. I asked Tom to give me the bag and took out the ring, putting it into my pocket. I found Aoife just as she was getting ready to leave in the staff room and greeted her.

"Hey, Aoife! How was your shift?"

"Same as always...long." she grinned and turned back to her locker.

"Err I have your ring." I smiled shyly and she turned back, her eyes dull and full of anger.

"Keep it, I broke off the engagement. Craig lied to me, he was on a dating website while we were together." She said and I flinched at the thought. It sounded so like something Tom would do... I pondered it for a second and then found solace in the fact that he hadn't cheated and I knew he wouldn't in future. At least I hoped so.

Tom's POV

Sam came back, holding out the ring to me. She looked shaken.

"She broke off the engagement, asked me to keep it." her voice was barely a whisper.

There was silence. I thought about this. It was the right moment. I could do it. I should do it...So I did it. I took the ring from her and looked at her. Slowly, I sank down onto one knee. I held out the ring to her, worshipping her, offering it to her. My Goddess. I opened my mouth to speak.

"Samantha Nicholls, will you be my wife?"

I looked into her eyes and waited for an answer...anything...


	11. Vows of Love and Livelihood

**Tom's POV**

"Yes."

Black. White. Blue. Green. Orange. Red. Yellow. Lilac.

The colours swirled in my head as I took in what she had said.

She had committed herself to a union. Our union. She was dedicating herself to our love. She was proving her undying adoration for me. She was sacrificing freedom for me.

She was in love with me. This answer. This agreement. This "Yes" that she had given me was worth more than anything. Worth more than the life I had had before it was uttered. It had started a new life. A joint life; a new beginning. It had given me meaning and shown me that finding love, however selfish it was, felt better than being a medic. I knew in that instant that I could save as many lives as I wanted, but nothing could warm my soul as much as the word she had blessed me with. She had been the doctor, nursing my heart with one word, the medicine that saved my life. Saved me from imminent loneliness.

I still felt the magic from this utter fairytale-like outcome causing goosebumps on my arms hours after her answer. A "Yes". A "Yes"! The miracle my saint had performed created beautiful images of our wedding in my head-

"Tom?" Robin looked at me in a confused manner "What's happened?"

"Pardon?"

"I said, what's happened you look so...euphoric." she smiled a friendly smile and turned back to the patient I had forgotten I was treating.

"No, no. I just-don't worry about it." I smiled back before trying to recollect my thoughts in order to diagnose the patient.

"Okay," she turned to the patient, a man in his late fifties who had come in at 8 PM when he fell down a flight of stairs "Now, Mr Turner, I'll leave you two to talk. Call me when you need me." she turned to go.

"Robin, I need you to stay." I said and she came back to the bedside.

"Mr Turned, have you ever fallen before?"

"No, I haven't fallen since I was 18 and in the army." he replied defiantly.

"Not even the odd tumble over a bump?" Robin enquired.

"Now that I come to think of it...I fell over a rock a few months ago.

"Any serious damage done?"

"No, not that I know of."

"Was there anything that caused the fall today? Did you trip?"

"No, I only felt a little pull in my chest."

"What kind of a pull?" I asked interested now.

"It was a strong pain, like someone was cutting me with a blade, it spread to my back and my arms. I don't remember what happened after that." I nodded and looked at Robin.

"Would you do some blood tests and an ECG for me please?" I asked and she moved in closer.

"What are you thinking?"

"Angina, pain in arms and back, blackout? It's textbook heart attack." I told her. She nodded and left.

I left Mr Turner in order to find Sam. I couldn't wait to see her.

**Sam's POV**

Had I said "Yes"? Had I really just gotten an offer of marriage?! I grinned to myself. I was engaged. I jumped up and down for a second, holding the ring to my heart, my silky, sand-coloured hair bouncing on my back. I was going to get married!

But then again I still had to talk to Fletch. I dreaded it. I completely and utterly dreaded it. At least he wasn't on the night shift. I could wait until tomorrow but I still shook violently at the thought of it...

In that instant Tom appeared and everything was alright again. We were in the staff room where I was getting a new pair of scrubs after a young, drunk boy had thrown up on my old pair. He smiled and took me in his arms.

"We're getting married." I said and a few tears started to form and cascade down my cheeks.

"Yes, we are." he caressed my cheek and I pressed my head into his chest. This was so surreal. Being around Tom made everything ok. I didn't care about Fletch in that instant. I would deal with him in the morning...


	12. The Charge of the Light Brigade

**Sorry that this is over a week late, I'm going out on an expedition tomorrow :D And thanks for all the reviews, I love you all! 3**

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_Half a league, half a league,_

_ Half a league onward,_

_All in the valley of Death_

_ Rode the six hundred._

_"Forward, the Light Brigade!_

_"Charge for the guns!" he said:_

_Into the valley of Death_

_ Rode the six hundred._

It was the end of night shift and I knew that I would be facing Fletch soon. He would come for his day shift. I needed to do this now, to get it over with. Tom had gone to get his things so we could leave. He wouldn't be back for another 15 minutes. I prayed that Fletch would come. I didn't want to create a scene.

_"Forward, the Light Brigade!"_

_Was there a man dismay'd?_

_Not tho' the soldier knew_

_ Someone had blunder'd:_

_Theirs not to make reply,_

_Theirs not to reason why,_

_Theirs but to do and die:_

_Into the valley of Death_

_ Rode the six hundred._

I knew a part of me would die when I was to tell him. My morale would shrivel and suffocate, my pride would perish and my self esteem would cower in a corner, waiting to die of starvation. Waiting. Waiting seemed so long when you were awaiting an execution.

_Cannon to right of them,_

_Cannon to left of them,_

_Cannon in front of them_

_ Volley'd and thunder'd;_

_Storm'd at with shot and shell,_

_Boldly they rode and well,_

_Into the jaws of Death,_

_Into the mouth of Hell_

_ Rode the six hundred._

In came Fletch and his wife. She had obviously brought him to work. And in that horrible instant Tom came from the staff room. Could it be any worse? Yes. I knew the answer as soon as I realised that I was stood in CDU and I concluded that I must have made some kind of a sound of surprise as a few of my colleagues turned or looked up from their notes. I was surrounded. Outnumbered. Trapped.

_Flash'd all their sabres bare,_

_Flash'd as they turn'd in air,_

_Sabring the gunners there,_

_Charging an army, while_

_ All the world wonder'd:_

_Plunged in the battery-smoke_

_Right thro' the line they broke;_

_Cossack and Russian_

_Reel'd from the sabre stroke_

_ Shatter'd and sunder'd._

_Then they rode back, but not_

_ Not the six hundred._

But I knew I had to fight, to bare my teeth so to say. I had to get through this.

"Fletch!" I called. He turned and saw me.

"Hey Princess, something up?"

"No uh-"

"Sam?" Tom had come round and he did not hide his suspicion.

"I need to get rid of this load, Tom. Leave us alone a moment." reluctantly he nodded and took a few steps back.

"Sweetheart? A minute?" Fletch asked sweetly of his wife and she smiled sweetly and turned to give us privacy.

_Cannon to right of them,_

_Cannon to left of them,_

_Cannon behind them_

_ Volley'd and thunder'd;_

_Storm'd at with shot and shell,_

_While horse and hero fell,_

_They that had fought so well_

_Came thro' the jaws of Death_

_Back from the mouth of Hell,_

_All that was left of them,_

_ Left of six hundred._

"Fletch?"

"Yes?"

"Remember last week, Friday?"

"Yes, kind of, why?"

"All of it?"

"A fraction, Sam, what's up?"

"Do you remember that we kissed?" there was a pause.

"Yes..."

"It meant...nothing!" I said, scared of his reaction.

"I know." he smiled "I was going to talk to you but you were feeling poorly."

"So can we forget this?" I asked.

"Of course. I wasn't going to remember it." he grinned "After all, I remember only about 1/4 of that night. Bad hangover." I chuckled at his expression and sighed relievedly.

Suddenly there was a gasp behind Fletch. His wife.

"You kissed her?!" she hissed loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Yes, I did." Fletch said and I felt the eyes bore into me from each side.

_When can their glory fade?_

_O the wild charge they made!_

_ All the world wondered._

_Honor the charge they made,_

_Honor the Light Brigade,_

_ Noble six hundred..._


	13. The Truth Has No Secrets From You

**I'm so sorry this is so short, I'm really tired and don't have the time or the energy to write more :/ still, enjoy and review please! :)**

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"I can't believe this." Lianne glared at him.

"Babe, I-"

"No! First Tess, now this?!" she sounded as of she was about to burst into tears

"Please, listen to me-" Fletch tried again to explain it to her but his wife had had enough.

"Adrian! Just spare me the nonsense!"

"Lianne, may i say something?" I asked cautiously but the only answer I got was the glare of her flaming, crazed eyes.

"Lianne." Tom stepped in and approached her.

"Listen, I only found out yesterday. I reacted as you did, I was angry, disappointed, sad, suspicious...but I forgave Sam...and Fletch, it was only a kiss. They were drunk and out of their minds. We both know they would never have done something like that while sober. The conversation you just disrupted was about last Friday night and the kiss, they were trying to forget. Now, can you?" he placed a soothing hand on her back and she started to cry. Tom embraced her and comforted her while Fletch and I stood there in awe of Tom's words and her reaction.

She looked up at me and at Fletch.

"I can see why you'd kiss her. She's young." she sobbed and Fletch stepped forward and protested.

"No, no, no she was close by is all. Had your mother been there I probably would have snogged her." he replied which caused her to chuckle.

"Come here, Babe." he opened his arms and she loosened her grip on Tom before falling into his arms, her tears slowly evaporating from the heat of her flushed face. Her dark curls bobbed as Fletch hugged her tightly and her sobs slowly died down.

In that instant it hit me. She had been through it all before, that was why she was crying. This was not the first time he had cheated. Had she said...Tess?!


	14. Apology is the Best Remedy

**Sorry guys...missed a week. I was busy with my new Facebook page. Go check it out! Its called The Science of Fandomonium and it supports ALL fandoms, so wether you're a Sherlockian, a Whovian or a Potterhead or even if you are a Tribute...go ahead and like! Or just like out of pity :) we've only got 14 likes :/ thanks! :D**

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Sam's POV

Oh Jesus. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just...Fletch and Tess? I wouldn't have thought a relationship like that possible. But then again...they were both very caring people, friendly but sensible so they did suit each other. But for some reason I had always thought Aoife would have been more...tempting to Fletch. Apparently not.

I was sat in my flat, feeling awful. I hadn't just hurt Lianne, I was the second person to hurt her. I had made her feel that same betrayal that she had felt once before. How selfish and cruel a person had I become? Was it because I spent 3 years in the army? Had it hardened me? Robbed me of my empathy? Only now could I feel the full effect of what I had done and it felt horrible. I then realised how much worse Lianne must be feeling.

Guilt and disappointment flooded my heart. I needed to apologise. And soon. I couldn't just leave her with Tom's empty words. They weren't mine. They weren't from the person that had destroyed her trust. I needed to head over there immediately. It was around 2 PM.

I had 4 hours until Fletch got back.

I quickly grabbed a coat and slipped into some converse and hurried out. On the stairs I ran into Tom, who caught me and steadied me, keeping me from falling head first down the stone staircase.

"Sam? Where are you going? I was just coming up to ask you if you wanted lunch."

"I can't, I need to go to Fletch's house." I said apologetically, avoiding eye contact.

"Why would you want to go there?" his suspicion was obvious. He didn't trust me.

"I need to apologise, to Lianne and the children."

"Ok, I'll take you." he offered, already turning and running down the first 3 steps.

"No!" he turned back and I realised how aggressive that had sounded.

"Sorry, I just need to do this on my own." he nodded with a clenched jaw.

"Here." I took his hand and placed the keys in it.

"Make yourself at home." I kissed his cheek.

"Don't you think it's time for me to get my own key?" he asked teasingly.

"Of course. I'll get them to you within the hour." I said graciously.

"It doesn't need to be that-"

"Relax, I'm just taking the piss." I grinned and nudged him. He took me in his arms and kissed me for a long second before turning me from him.

"Off you go!"

"See you later!"

"Untill then." he grinned and I started down the ridiculous amount of stairs.

I got out of the big, concrete apartment building and headed towards my car. This was the first time I had driven it since last Friday. I got in and caressed the dashboard of my dark silver Ford Fiesta.

"Did you miss me?" I smiled at my idiocy and turned the key in the ignition. A small rev of the engine welcomed me back and I exhaled slowly. Here. We. Go...


	15. Acceptance of the Simple Grief

I stared at the golden knocker on the red door. The light reflected off it, showing off the flawless layer of paint. The knocker had obviously been used often, it shone in the sunlight were it had been touched most often while the screws and the hinge were covered in dust and residue.

"Good morning!" I was brought back to my senses when a young woman passed Lianne and Fletch's house in front of which I was standing.

One minute passed. Two. Three. I counted to five and then got up the courage to knock. I raised my shaking hand to the knocker and pulled up its weight in order to slam it back down thrice...

No answer.

I sighed. Maybe she was out.

Turning, I made my way back to the car. Suddenly. There! A rattling of keys. The door opened and a voice answered

"He-hello?" it was a child's voice. Maybe 7 years old.

I turned back and looked at the child. The girl looked on frightened and hid in the shadow that the door threw into the hall.

"Hello!" I crouched down and tried to look enthusiastic "I need to talk to your mother, do you know where she is?"

"Sh-she's ironing." she struggled to articulate her sentence correctly.

"May I come in?" I asked praying she would allow it.

"O-ok." she opened the door further and I straightened myself, following her in.

"What's your name?" I smiled at her.

"A-amy."

"Amy...is your sister here?" I had often overheard Fletch's conversations and knew he had two daughters.

"Y-yes."

"Can you fetch her for me?" I asked and she nodded, bounding up the stairs.

"Ellie, Ellie!" I heard the muffled shouts and knocks on a door.

"What?! I'm talking to a friend!"

"There's a woman here."

"What? Where?"

"Downstairs."

"Ok, fine. I'll come down." there was a clatter and the unlocking of a door.

Then a 16 year-old casually slunk down the stairs.

"Hello?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Hiya, I need to talk to your mother."

"What for?" she looked at me challengingly.

"I need to apologise to her..." I looked at the ground.

"Oh you're that doctor." she chuckled sarcastically. Amy looked at her confusedly.

"Amy, this is the whore that kissed daddy." she patted her back.

"Please, just let me talk to her." I pleaded and her eyes turned into slits.

"Fine." she spat "I'll get her." she left Amy in the hall with me and opened one of the doors, walking through them into another room and then the one behind it.

A few minutes later, Lianne opened the half open door and came face to face with me.

"Hello, Lianne." I made an effort to smile but it wasn't mutual.

"What do you want? You've already wrecked my week."

She crossed her arms over her chest as her daughter had done but tears started welling in her eyes.

"I wanted to apologise sincerely. I realise what I have done. I realise I have wrecked a home. I feel terrible. I was drunk on that Friday but I know that's no excuse. I need to be frank with you. I couldn't recall what had happened until the next afternoon and I couldn't bear myself, all I could think about was the betrayal I had caused you and Tom."

"Why didn't you come earlier then?" she interrogated.

"I didn't know if Fletch had already told you. Yesterday was the first time I was actually able to talk to him about Friday."

"...Do you know how much pain you have caused me?" she was closed to crying, her voice breaking.

"No. But I can imagine it must have been torturing you all night."

"Yes. And it will. I cannot trust my husband anymore..."

"No please! It was me who kissed him, he was too drunk to understand what was happening. I know you have been betrayed before...but you won't be again. I promise."

"Really? You think you can promise that?"

I didn't know how to answer.

"...I...I truly do yes." I said and there was a silence.

"...Then there really is no reason to detest you anymore." she opened her arms as if to embrace me and I wrapped my arms around her.

Ellie and Amy were still watching and Ellie's hard face relaxed slowly when her mother let me go and smiled weakly.

"I need to go, unfortunately. But I truly am sorry about the sorrow I have caused your family.

"I know. I shall see you soon." she replied and I opened the door, exiting this scene of remorse that had been tinted with acceptance.

I had done it. I smiled, proud of myself. Now I could finally let go.


	16. Green Traffic Light

**Hello Dudes and Dudettes! Sorry that it's been a while...Here's something cute for ya! xx mimiam **

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Tom

I was sat in the living room, taking in my surroundings. The room was dove grey with light brown flooring that was most likely walnut. On the dark grey sofa, a violet wool blanket was spread next to which two, plump, matching pillows were lying. The window dressings were very rococo, folded perfectly but with a messy aspect to them. It was very like Sam. Modern, but classical. Clean, but simple. The sunlight threw shadows against the wall and made the brass keys in the drawer locks gleam with golden pride. A different lock clucked and unlocked. The lock to the front door. Sam was back.

I jumped up and reached for the door handle that opened into my hand.

"Oh." Sam was in my face, staring at me with those beautiful grey eyes.

"Hey." I grinned and she smiled, moving out of the way so I could close the door.

"So...? You look happy." I caught her in my arms and turned her to face me. She laughed and nodded.

"She accepted my apology." she revealed and I smiled.

"I knew you could do it." I kissed her quickly, then again, this time longer.

"Haha mmmmhhh. You did?" pushed me away tentatively.

"Of course." I replied. She walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out a smoothie. I followed, taking the jar containing the smoothie from her hand.

"Hey!" she grinned, trying to snatch it from my hands but I kept it out of her reach.

"Tom, give it back!" she jumped up but wasn't able to reach it. I ran out of the kitchen into the living room and she hurried after me. Quickly, I opened the jar and chugged the remaining fluid.

"Tom." her voice went from amused to irritated.

"Now I need to make more." she sighed.

"...Go on. Do what you've got to do. I'll make some more." I consoled in defeat, still smirking. She smiled in return.

"Alright, I'll just change, quickly." she said and left the kitchen.

I stayed for a moment before deciding to go after her. I crept into her bedroom, where she was about to strip off her shirt but grabbed her wrist pulling her onto the bed, into my arms.

"Tom!" she exclaimed, smiling.

"So," I grinned, hugging her waist.

"About the marriage..." I nuzzled her ear "We should start planning."

She smiled and turned to face me.

"When do you want to do it?" I asked, looking at her intently.

"I was thinking. In a few months. But it's not just my decision." she placed a hand on my chest.

"No, I agree. A few months."

"Hmmmmm..." she pressed her head against my chest and I stroked her hair.

"I can't wait." she smiled, eyes closed.

"Only a few months more." I continued to stroke her hair and she moved in closer. I inhaled a deep breath and sighed happily. Life couldn't get any better. I closed my eyes, and concentrated on her. On how close we were.

Inseparable.


	17. Colourblind (Not Green But Red)

**Hey, my lovelies! I'm not gonna be on much because of my mock exams. So here's some more Tam :D because I know you love it so much. Also, for those of you that watched House MD when it was still running, you'll see subtle hints that I too was and am massive House fan ;)**

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I awoke, Sam still in my arms with the Sun glinting through the blinds that were half covering the view of the streets. I looked at her, her peaceful figure, the warm smile on her face as she slept. She was still wearing her shoes from when she had come back last night and I carefully transferred her head from my arm to a plump pillow in order to remove them. I got up slowly, carefully, trying not to make a sudden movement that would cause her to wake. I walked around the bed, the floorboards betraying my steps. Looking up, I assessed the situation. Had she noticed me? I think not. So I continued towards her and slowly undid her shoe laces, pulling at the heel of her shoe so her foot would slip out without effort. In that moment she stirred and I kept still for a long moment until she had stopped moving, praying I hadn't woken her. I took off her second shoe and then straightened myself. Looking at her, I exited the room to make her the smoothie I had promised to make. I opened the fridge, finding a single banana, some strawberries, two kiwis and...hidden behind some sauce bottles...no. It couldn't be...a bottle of scotch? It was half full, the glass had a few small cracks where she had bumped into something with it. I stared at it in horror. Cracks in the bottle. That could only suggest that she had been drunk while it was on her person. I shook my head. Sam wasn't an alcoholic. She couldn't be. I closed my eyes trying to get the image out of my head. She was fine. She was in her room, asleep, she had no withdrawal symptoms, I had been with her these past few days and she had not drunken anything. And yet the thought lingered in the back of my mind as I set to work on the smoothie. I pressed the button on the mixer, that sent the fruit swirling, massacring it in the process. After about a minute, the reddish gooey liquid was ready for consumption and I poured it into a glass, getting out a cocktail umbrella to put on the side.

"Hey." I turned to see Sam, she was stood in the doorway, leaning on the wooden arch.

"Hey." I smiled and she came over to see what I was doing.

"Here," I handed her the smoothie and she grinned.

"You kept your word, very gentlemanly of you." she looked me in the eyes and I grinned back.

"I do like the sound of Lord Kent." I replied and she laughed. I cupped her face and kissed her, forgetting about the alcohol. She set down the glass and wrapped her arms around me, kissing me back. I moved down kissing her neck and she sighed, smiling.

At the sigh I looked up, concerned at first but realising why she had sighed I smiled.

"What do you want to do today?" it was Saturday. We had time, time to do whatever we wanted. She kissed me and took my hand into the bedroom. There she pushed me onto the bed and started stripping off...

"And now what?" I asked. Sam's head was on my chest, her frail-looking body breathing heavily.

"Nothing." she smiled, raising her head to look at me properly.

"Nothing?" I stroked a strand of hair put of her face.

"Let's stay in." she smiled, kissing me quickly and jumping up, running out of the room. I got up more slowly, putting on my boxers and pulling on some pants. While I tugged on a grey shirt, I left the bedroom trying to find out what Sam was up to. I heard a faint sound of water and knew she was in the shower. So I made my way to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Suddenly there was a muffled bam from the shower. I looked up.

"Sam?" I walked over to the bathroom and gently knocked on the door.

"Sam are you alright?" I asked again.

"Yeah...yeah...I'm-I'm fine." she was out of breath. "I dropped a shampoo bottle, is-" there was another sound.

"Sam?" my voice was now agitated. There was no answer.

I turned the handle, and opened the door to find Sam unconscious on the shower floor.

"Sam?!" I opened the shower door, scooping her up and grabbing a towel on the way out. I put her down on the sofa, ignoring the fact that the water on her body was going to ruin it. I checked her heart rate. Fast. But she was still breathing.

"Sam. Sam..." I whispered to myself and ran into the kitchen. I turned on the tap and snatched a glass from the cupboard, filling it with ice cold water.

I returned to Sam, the glass of water still in my hand. I dunked my hand in it and splashed her face. Once, twice. She gasped and regained consciousness.

"There she is." I smiled weakly.

"You're dehydrated." I handed her the water. "You shouldn't go in the shower after having lain down for a length of time. Especially not with a low blood pressure." I looked at her sternly. She sighed. I didn't know if it was in relief or agitation but I didn't care. I stroked her cheek and got up. Returning into the small kitchen, I filled a jug with water for her, only to return to finding her sat upright.

"Sam, lie down." I put down the jug and gently pushed her back down. But she resisted.

"Sam..." I growled, letting my protective instinct take over.

"I'm fine, Tom." she said and tried to get up.

"Sam, I need to keep an eye on you. It's only been a minute since you were lying on the shower floor, unconscious." I tried to remain calm.

"I know how to handle this, Tom. I am a doctor." she looked me square in the eyes.

"So am I, Sam...Has this happened before?" I asked but she got up and pushed past me.

"Sam!" I followed her into the bedroom and grabbed her wrist, forcing her to turn to me.

"Has this happened before?" I reiterated.

"Yes." she sighed "It's fine, Tom. I've been through this before."

"Sam, you know what this means. You're not fine." I placed a hand on her face, turning it towards me.

"Let's get you checked out." I let go of her hand. Grabbing my coat, I turned only to see if she was coming. She was sat on the sofa.

"Sam, it's fairly simple. Either I call the ambulance and they will take you in, or I take you. Don't you think the latter is less of a hassle?" I asked and walked over to take her hand.

"Come on. I'll be right there." I smiled encouragingly and reluctantly she got up. But I felt the fear in the back of my mind saying this was a warning. A warning of something bad...


	18. It's Complicated

**Sorry guys, I just came up with this irresistably complex twist for this story which I'm gonna post in like two weeks ;) until then, enjoy and thanks for all the LOVELY reviews! Xxxx you guys are awesome! Its great fun writing for you! mimiam**

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**Sam's POV**

The drive wasn't long, it took about 10-15 mins. There wasn't much traffic, just the usual: a red traffic light and the buildup of cars behind it. I leaned back in my seat and sighed. Tom turned to me at once.

"Sam?" when I didn't react he placed his index and middle fingers on my carotid artery, feeling for a pulse. I rolled my eyes.

"Is this what it's going to be like, living with you?" I broke the silence and he sighed in relief.

"Please, don't scare me like that. We're almost there."

"I know. I may have fainted in the shower, that doesn't mean that I've forgotten the way to work." I snapped. The concern on his face grew.

"Irritability." he muttered.

"What?"

"Irritability, a new symptom." he repeated.

"It's not a symptom, it's affected by the mood I'm in."

"Come on, Sam, we both know that it can present as a symptom."

"But it's not, Tom. This is just me in a bad mood!" I growled.

"Shush now, we're here." he stopped the car and walked around, opening the door for me.

He helped me out, wanting to scoop me up but I pushed him away.

"Stop treating me like a child. I can still walk." I demanded but despite this he wrapped an arm around my waist, ensuring my safe arrival in the hospital. Once in the hospital, I was able to loosen his grasp and hurried towards the front desk.

"Hiya Noel." I smiled fakely, ignoring the fact that Tom was building himself up behind me, his chest heaving with anger under his grey cotton shirt.

"Sam." he pulled me aside "You really shouldn't be running in this condition."

I sighed.

"Noel, I need you to book in Sam as a patient please." Noel looked up at Tom, then cautiously at me.

"Alright, just a sec. You can sit down if you like." he gestured towards the seats in reception. Tom took my hand and dragged me to one of the seats, sitting me down.

"Is there something you're hiding from me?" he crossed his arms over his chest.

"What? No, Tom. I've told you that it's nothing, can't you just accept that?" I replied and he sat down next to me.

"Sam, do you know what you symptoms suggest?"

"Minus the irritability? Yes, how could I not." I turned face him.

"I don't have it, Tom. I fainted, the hot water made my blood rush to my feet. This caused my brain not to get enough oxygen which caused me to faint."

"You had shortness of breath too." he added.

"Yes, I was out of breath because we had sex," she whispered "and after that I ran into the bathroom. Who wouldn't be out of breath?"

This time he sighed.

"Sam, if it really is nothing, why won't you let a doctor check you over?"

"Because I am a doctor. I don't need a second opinion." she said, calming down a little more.

"Well you've got one." he said and I closed my eyes. Of course.

"Samantha Nicholls." Louise read out my name and Tom got up, pulling me up with him. Another ER doctor named Frederic Harrows led us to a cubicle. We didn't know him well, he was more than a little antisocial towards us normally and liked to stick to talking with nurses.

Once in the cubicle, Tom left, muttering that he'd change into scrubs, so he could oversee the case. Doctor Harrow grimaced at that but kept his mouth shut.

"Alright, Doctor Nicholls, what seems to be the problem."

"There isn't one, in fact, I think Tom might have paranoia, why don't you start a list of symptoms on him?" I got up to leave. He cleared his throat and I turned.

"Don't you think I've had enough patients to know when they want to get out of an exam?" he looked me up and down suspiciously, eyebrows raised, pointing at the bed. Reluctantly I sat down.

"So, would you be so kind as to tell me what caused you to come in? I can just ask your colleague." he warned and I sighed.

"Then ask him." in that instant Tom reentered the cubicle in his mint green scrubs with a long-sleeved white cotton shirt underneath it, of which he had rolled up the sleeves.

"Ahh Doctor Kent, how nice of you to errr...grace us with your presence. Unfortunately our patient insists that there is no problem."

"Believe me, there is: she fainted this morning and I found out it has not been the first time, she has shortness of breath and-"

Suddenly a pain ripped through my chest, making me gasp. Both pairs of eyes were on me.

"Sam, what is it?" Tom asked worriedly. I could hardly breathe from the pain so I clutched my chest, hoping Tom would get the hint.

"Angina." he muttered and Harrows wrote it down "Lie down, Sam, lie down and just breathe." he helped me lie down straight and I followed his advice. But all I could do was breathe fast and shallowly.

"Ok, shortness of breath. Harrows, get an oxygen mask please." he sent him off.

"I-I, please..." I tried to say but I couldn't breathe in enough oxygen.

"Shhh" he stroked my hair and took the mask from Harrows. He put it over my mouth and face and breathing got a little easier.

"Relax." Tom soothed and I tried to, breathing a little slower "There we go." he smiled weakly.

"Is this what you felt when you fainted this morning?" Harrows asked me and I nodded. Tom's eyes darkened.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You'd...only...worry." I struggled to speak.

"Sam, as a doctor and as your fiancé I think I ought to know when something's up. I want to help you. Please. Sam, let me protect you, it's all I want to do." he looked at me with worried, concerned eyes and kissed my forehead. Then he turned to Harrows, who was gazing at us in awe at the behaviour Tom had just shown in my presence.

"So I can note you down as next of kin for the moment?" Harrows asked. Tom shook his head.

"That would be her mother, if I'm not mistaken she's still here in hospital."

"So I shouldn't note you down as next of kin?"

"No, I want to oversee her case. Make sure she's alright."

"You can do that as her fiancé."

"I'd prefer to do it as her doctor, that way you can't hide information from me."

"Alright." he said and whispered something in Tom's ear.

"Yes that could be." he whispered something back. Harrows nodded.

"Babe, we're going to x-ray your chest and do an EKG." this was the first time he had called me babe. I nodded.

"What are you thinking?"

"It's nothing serious-"

"No, please, what are you thinking?"

"We think you might have a heart arrhythmia." Harrows replied and I nodded in defeat. Let them check. I already knew what it was. I had awaited this for some time...


	19. Bleeding Hearts and Guilty Souls

**Sorry guys! I know this is very short but I'm in a summer program and this is all I have time for :( I shall write soon! Don't miss me too much :D Xx mimiam**

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It didn't take long for Tom to find out that I did not have a heart arrhythmia. With every minute that passed he got more concerned, more anxious for me, my health, while I just sat there and watched his mind waste away with worry. He saw me looking at him and directed his gaze into my eyes.

"Sam, do you know what this is? You said that you'd fainted before…" his expression was pained. For a second I contemplated telling him. He was my fiancé, after all. But he spoke before I could make my mind up.

"I found a bottle of scotch in your fridge." His eyes left me, he was ashamed. How dare he snoop around in my fridge?

"Sam?"

"Yes." He looked up at me. "Yes, I know what it is." His expression lit up at that and he sat up a little straighter.

"Come on then, Sam. Don't play games. Tell me and we can help you." His voice was enthusiastic, I shuddered for a second

"It's not as easy as that." I replied and his eyebrows furrowed like a bone regrowing after a fracture. "I-…I have liver cirrhosis…" I explained reluctantly and his face darkened considerably.

"Cirrhosis...From the alcohol...And that caused your breathlessness?" I nodded.

"Yes, it caused the pulmonary hypertension that caused the breathlessness and the elevated heartbeat." There was a silence as he processed the information and tried to find a reply to my confession.

There was none.

He got up to find Dr Harrows in order to update him on my condition. I lay under the heavy white and mint sheets and knew there was no escaping this now. Yet, I prayed for this to be over quickly. I knew that once I was stable, there would be a lot of tension between the two of us and I didn't want him to leave me. We had only just gotten engaged and I couldn't wait for our wedding. I just hoped that this wouldn't wreck it. And so I awaited Tom's next move…


	20. Do You Know Where The Wild Things Go?

**Here we go, guys! Another chapter! This time it's a little longer ;) When I'm back home, it'll be more regular, I promise :) Until then, friends and fangirls! (Hope you like the plot twist!)**

**PS: And yes, I did name this chapter after a line in Breezeblocks by Alt-J, for any Alt-J fans out there :)**

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**Tom's POV**

_Oh Sam. Sam, Sam, why? Why did you have to do it? Everything was so perfect..._

I wandered around the ED, trying to locate Harrows but he was nowhere to be found. But I couldn't wait with the diagnosis, I'd have to do it myself. So I stopped Jamie and asked him kindly if he would do some blood tests on Sam to check the bilirubin, albumin and total serum protein levels in order to find out how well her liver was functioning. I also ordered a blood alcohol test. I needed to know how bad it was. He nodded mutely and left without asking any questions, probably due to my stone expression. There wasn't much more I could do. I could only wait. I made my way outside and sat down on the bench on which so many people had lost their minds before me. Waiting, contemplating, hoping.

How could she have done it? Had she been depressed? She hadn't seemed it. And she didn't seem the person that drinks a lot, but that would explain her extreme hangover after the party two weeks earlier. And why she had defended herself so fiercely when I had enquired about her health... Quite a few things were obvious to me now. But she had been in the army just two years ago, how could two years of drinking (if she had even been drinking for that long) have caused this much damage?

It didn't make any sense. But a lot of things didn't make sense about Sam. She wasn't an ordinary girl.

She never would be.

"Tom?" I looked up. I saw the friendly face framed by shoulder-length dark hair that could only belong to Zoe.

Her expression was one I had never encountered before. She was smiling in an effort to seem consoling. It wasn't working.

My girlfriend was an alcoholic who had almost drunken herself to death.

No. Correction.

My fiancée was an alcoholic who had drunken herself almost to death.

And I hated myself for it. How could I not have noticed?

"Tom, I'm here for you if you need me." she sat down next to me and together we sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Have you got a diagnosis yet?" she asked cautiously.

"No, not a concrete one. Sam confessed to drinking. We're checking for cirrhosis."

"But she had shortness of breath and angina. And didn't you bring her in because she fainted in the shower?"

"Yes, she had pulmonary hypertension due to the cirrhosis."

"Oh! I actually just read an article about the connection between the two."

"Yeah, I read it a couple of weeks ago."

"Very interesting read...are you absolutely sure it's the alcohol?" she looked at me, testing my judgement.

"Yes, what else could it be?"

"She just doesn't seem like the type to drink-"

"She confessed to it, Zoe."

"I know, all I'm saying is keep your options open."

"Well thank you, Zoe, but I think I've got it covered." I spoke through gritted teeth.

"Alright, I'll leave her in your capable hands." she got up and made her way back to the ED.

I sat for another two minutes, alone, shivering in the cold of midday, before going back inside.

Harrows could go to hell, I'd do it all myself.

As I walked through the ED, I thought about what I'd do about Sam. Things couldn't just go back to normal, surely. Something had to change. But it wouldn't be me. Not yet. She needed me now. and I wasn't prepared to leave her, vulnerable, sick and frail as she was now.

I swung the curtains aside and saw Sam sitting up in bed with Harrows shining a light in across her eyes.

"Oh, how nice of you to join us." he smiled smugly.

"While you were gone, I got the blood alcohol levels back. It's not the alcohol."

"How did you know about the cirrhosis?"

"The chart, my dear Tom. And your little fiancée." he said it in such a belittling voice that I snarled, lunging for the chart that was on the trolley next to him but he snatched it away from me.

"This is still my case, Dr Kent. You are only assisting me. Now, when I got back the results, I thought a physical exam was in order and took the liberty to examine the patient. Have a look at her irises." he handed me the light and I shone it across Sam's irises. They were grey as ever.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to see." I admitted and Harrows smiled.

"See here," he indicated the outside of her iris "the brown ring around her iris?"

And sure enough, I saw it then.

"Kayser-Fleischer rings." I stated and he nodded.

She had Wilson's Disease...


	21. Show Me Land

**Ok guys, I couldn't resist! I wrote this last night and I was dead tired so sorry if it's not so good. But I sprinkled a little Tam cuteness in there so I hope I'll earn your forgiveness :D**

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"But that means-"

"The alcohol was a coincidence." Harrows nodded and my eyes flew to Sam. She sat in silence, taking in the information.

"Do we know how severe the damage is?" I asked, eyeing Sam all the while.

"Well, we know that she's had psychological and neurological symptoms-"

"Yes, irritability, headaches, mood swings...Have you gotten the liver function test results back yet?"

"No, but I told Nurse Collier to hurry them up." he replied and I nodded.

Good, I thought. He knew that it was important. And his attitude was becoming more acceptable.

"I'll go check how long they'll be." Harrows threw one of his rare friendly smiles in our direction and left. I looked over at Sam.

She was still sat in the same position, as if in a daze. I moved over towards her but she turned from me.

"Hey, babe, what's wrong?" I rubbed her back reassuringly.

She turned back to me, guilty tears glinting in big eyes.

"I'm so sorry." she started to cry, her whole body convulsing with each sob. Her head was bowed, hiding her face from me.

"Sam. Look at me." I lifted her chin, searching her face.

"This isn't your fault. Wilson's Disease is an inherited condition. You know that."

"No, I'm sorry for drinking. I should have told you. I should have stopped..."

"Everything's going to be alright." I shushed her and caressed her cheek.

"We'll get through this together. I'm not mad at you, don't ever think that. I love you." I smiled at her and she looked at me apologetically.

"I love you too...I was so scared. I didn't know how you'd react. I thought you'd leave me then and there." she buried her face in my chest and I rested my chin on her head.

"Sam, I could never leave you. Not because of a silly mistake that you made. You're my fiancée." I reminded her and she smiled weakly.

"Now, when Harrows gets back here, we'll find out exactly how bad the cirrhosis is and what the course of treatment will be." I spoke and she lifted her head, looking at me.

"I'm scared, Tom."

"Don't worry, I'm here. I'll always be here." I whispered into her hair as she pressed her cheek into my chest again.

In that instant Harrows entered the cubicle, his face grave with the news he had for us.

"Dr Harrows?" I looked at him expectantly.

"It's not good."

He looked at Sam, whose eyes had grown big with fear and anxiety. I gave her a reassuring kiss on the forehead and pulled Harrows outside.

"Could I see the test results?"I wasn't even asking any more. It was just a formality.

Reluctantly, Harrows handed me the sheets of paper that had been neatly tucked under his arm.

Her bilirubin was elevated, her albumin was extremely low as was the serum total protein level. In other words, her liver was in the gutter.

"She needs a new liver. I've already put her on the transplant list but it's unlikely she'll get one in the near future." The news hit me like a bullet in the stomach.

"Test my blood. If I'm a match, I'd like to make a live donation."

"You'd want to give half your liver?"

"Of course, she's my fiancée." I looked at him, not quite understanding why he'd asked.

"Alright. Let's go into a separate cubicle." he led me to cubicle 8 closed the curtain behind me and gestured for me to sit on the bed. I did so and he fished for a needle and cannula in the trolley next to it. As he looked for them, he tossed me a tourniquet. I rolled up my sleeve quickly and tied the band around my upper arm, making a fist and watching as my veins started to bulge.

Harrows came around the bed, attaching the needle to the cannula as he walked and dipping his hand into his pocket. He got out a little vial to fill with my blood and I wondered if it had been in his pocket all this time.

"There we go." he straightened my arm and carefully slid the needle into my vein. There was almost no discomfort; he had had practice. It was quite a surprise to me, since this procedure was usually performed by a nurse. His fingers undid the tourniquet and as he positioned the cannula and removed the needle, I opened my fist to let the blood run freely. Slowly it trickled into the vial that Harrows had placed beneath the cannula. As it almost reached the top of the vial, he removed the cannula and dabbed at the entry wound with a cotton swab to stop the bleeding. He gave me the swab to press onto the wound and closed the vial.

"I'll send this up to labs, we'll have the results in a few hours." and with that he left.

Just a couple of hours until I knew if I could save Sam's life or not. God help me, I needed to know. And if it was the last thing I did. I'd give my life for this woman, if it came to that. I'd do anything...


End file.
